Lipton’s Journal/January 25, 1955/256

The above note. I did not have a deep depression when Putnam took the book, I had a half relief and a half depression. Because I was gambling two ways. The bet was hedged. On the one hand I didn’t want a house to take it, because then I could have gone all the way. On the other hand I wanted a house to take it because I sensed that if I published it myself and won (as I felt I would) my life as a gambler would be established. I could hardly turn back.