Lipton’s Journal/February 7, 1955/487

From Project Mailer

To attempt to go on. So the orgasm, the hard on—The excelsior! of society, Hard and Onward (Excelsior is also waste stuffing) is the sexual benefit given to the healthy unisexual who needs some H communion in order to go on socially. And gets it from his delightful orgasm—when he is a healthy unisexual, of whom there aren’t too many either. The healthy bisexual protracts the love-act and explores other parts of life, drama in sex-play, pornography, beautiful love language, dirty love language, lingering, subtle aggressions like controlled spankings, “perversions”—the basic one is always 69 with its great message that mouths are cunts and cunts are mouths, that cocks are tongues and tongues are cocks.

Corollary—whether a girl or boy is bisexual or unisexual (at that stage) is probably indicated by whether they are drawn or repelled by soul-kissing. I, who can make love for as long as two hours, notice that when I go limber, I can get hard by talking or thinking of something dirty to me, something forbidden that is, I can project myself forward sexually as a rebel against society, and society responds by making me hard, making me hot, good old S trying to make me come so I won’t discover too much.

In this sense, premature ejaculation is the S-defense against discovering too much H; just as impotence is the expression of even greater danger. Impotence implies total absence of er-consciousness; premature ejaculation implies bi-sexual anxiety, bi-sexual and from that er-awareness. Just as the inability to come (which I’ve never had—not at least for the first orgasm) is a stubborn fixation, an H determination not to quit because if one continues, something essential will be discovered. I suspect that clinically inability-to-come is the most unstable of the sexual ‘impotencies’. One either goes into total impotence, or one is able to some, or one stops sex. (I have to check with Bob and other analysts on this.)