Jump to content

Lipton’s Journal/January 24, 1955/217: Difference between revisions

m
Updated notes.
(Created page.)
 
m (Updated notes.)
Line 1: Line 1:
{{LJtop}}
{{LJtop}}
To begin with, one of the great divisions of personality occurred to me last night, and that is, one can divide people generally into takers and givers. Naturally there is an infinity of variations in the duality, and the giver always has his counterpart within himself of the taker, but it is best described by mentioning people. I am essentially a giver and not a taker which is why so many people see me as a bully. Adele{{LJ:Adele}} is on the surface a taker rather than a giver—except in sex—but that is truly a defense against her great desires to give which would flood her away. Danny{{LJ:Wolf}} is a taker not a giver, so is Malaquais.{{LJ:Malaquais}} Devlin{{LJ:Devlin}} a giver. My mother is a giver—like me she cannot take, neither advice, nor presents, nor even in a funny way, love—she must give, give, give. Bob{{LJ:Lindner}} is one of those rare people who is both a giver and a taker—primarily a giver, but he can also take which accounts for his healthiness. Larry [Alson] and Barbara [Alson] are takers, my father is a taker.{{refn|{{NM}}’s sister, Barbara Mailer Wasserman (b. 1927) was married to Alson (1920-2016), a writer and editor, from 1950-1962.}}  
To begin with, one of the great divisions of personality occurred to me last night, and that is, one can divide people generally into takers and givers. Naturally there is an infinity of variations in the duality, and the giver always has his counterpart within himself of the taker, but it is best described by mentioning people. I am essentially a giver and not a taker which is why so many people see me as a bully. Adele{{LJ:Adele}} is on the surface a taker rather than a giver—except in sex—but that is truly a defense against her great desires to give which would flood her away. Danny{{LJ:Wolf}} is a taker not a giver, so is Malaquais.{{LJ:Malaquais}} Devlin{{LJ:Devlin}} a giver. My mother is a giver—like me she cannot take, neither advice, nor presents, nor even in a funny way, love—she must give, give, give. Bob{{LJ:Lindner}} is one of those rare people who is both a giver and a taker—primarily a giver, but he can also take which accounts for his healthiness. Larry [Alson] and Barbara [Alson] are takers, my father is a taker.{{LJ:Alson}}  


Generally, givers are “generous,” bullying, dominating, somewhat overbearing, anxious, guilty, lively, {{ins|self-pitying, compassionate,}} and apparently open. Takers are secretive, private, {{ins|hold strong opinions,}} often sensitive—especially on what they receive—sly, greedy, subtle, envious, {{ins|superior in their own eyes,}} passive, and just as the giver feels anxiety when it is a question of receiving, so the taker has great anxiety about giving.  
Generally, givers are “generous,” bullying, dominating, somewhat overbearing, anxious, guilty, lively, {{ins|self-pitying, compassionate,}} and apparently open. Takers are secretive, private, {{ins|hold strong opinions,}} often sensitive—especially on what they receive—sly, greedy, subtle, envious, {{ins|superior in their own eyes,}} passive, and just as the giver feels anxiety when it is a question of receiving, so the taker has great anxiety about giving.