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{{Byline|last=Mailer|first=Maggie|note=This Keynote Address was delivered to the annual meeting of the Norman Mailer Society on Saturday, October 19, 2019 at Wilkes University.|url=http://prmlr.us/mr13mai}}
{{Byline|last=Mailer|first=Maggie|note=This Keynote Address was delivered to the annual meeting of the Norman Mailer Society on Saturday, October 19, 2019 at Wilkes University.|url=http://prmlr.us/mr13mai}}
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the way, is also all about me.
the way, is also all about me.


'''PART 1. “THIRD PERSON FATHER”'''
===Part 1. “Third Person Father”===


It has been said that in families of two or more children, each child experiences
It has been said that in families of two or more children, each child experiences
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in the least, and spoiled. At a certain point, her presence became so insistent
in the least, and spoiled. At a certain point, her presence became so insistent
that she began to invade my personality. I started throwing tantrums, refusing
that she began to invade my personality. I started throwing tantrums, refusing
to take care of business, and so on— and this was just last week. Nothing
to take care of business, and so on—and this was just last week. Nothing
could stand up to this girl. So I finally caved, and—Here I am—
could stand up to this girl. So I finally caved, and—Here I am—
acknowledging her.
acknowledging her.
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For a long time, I did not want to come to the Mailer conferences. The
For a long time, I did not want to come to the Mailer conferences. The
ballast I was always seeking in our relationship could be further displaced by
ballast I was always seeking in our relationship could be further displaced by
any version of Norman I might establish hearing— or especially speaking—
any version of Norman I might establish hearing—or especially speaking—
about him. In the effort to connect with an audience who knew externally
about him. In the effort to connect with an audience who knew externally
more about him than I did, I could lose track of my dad completely.
more about him than I did, I could lose track of my dad completely.
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reflected in the crazy prism of our family.
reflected in the crazy prism of our family.


'''PART 2: THE PRISM, OR, THE DREAM LIFE OF MY SIBLINGS'''
===Part 2: The Prism, or, the Dream Life of My Siblings===


I would like to show you some diagrams featuring the nine children, six
I would like to show you some diagrams featuring the nine children, six
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resonate with some hefty cosmic references. They also help me locate myself
resonate with some hefty cosmic references. They also help me locate myself
within the family.
within the family.
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-1.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 1''': Planetary Siblings]]
Here is Dad and the children as the Sun and nine planets. John Buffalo,
Here is Dad and the children as the Sun and nine planets. John Buffalo,
the youngest, saw the most of Dad, and Sue, the oldest, probably saw him
the youngest, saw the most of Dad, and Sue, the oldest, probably saw him
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integrity in making such a self-serving map, but I assured him it was a
integrity in making such a self-serving map, but I assured him it was a
lucky accident, and also, that if this were so I would be taking on a lot of
lucky accident, and also, that if this were so I would be taking on a lot of
responsibility!
responsibility! (See '''Figure 1''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-2.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 2''': Earth Layers]]
  placeholder for Figure 1 - Planetary Siblings
 
I make up for it in the next one: Here we have Dad and the nine children
I make up for it in the next one: Here we have Dad and the nine children
as the ten layers of the earth, from core to exosphere.
as the ten layers of the earth, from core to exosphere. (See '''Figure 2''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-3.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 3''': Creation Stage Yantra]]
  placeholder for Figure 2 - Earth Layers
 
The children as nine cosmic phases of CREATION, PRESERVATION,
The children as nine cosmic phases of CREATION, PRESERVATION,
AND DISSOLUTION in Yantra, or sacred mandala construction.
AND DISSOLUTION in Yantra, or sacred mandala construction. (See '''Figure 3''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-4.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 4''': Benzene Ring]]
  placeholder for Figure 3 - Creation Stage Yantra
[[File:Mr13-mai-5.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 5''': Dad & Siblings Benzene Ring]]
 
Here is the family arrayed like a Benzene Ring; which has the chemical
Here is the family arrayed like a Benzene Ring; which has the chemical
formula C6H6. If Dad had only had six children, we would have a perfect
formula C6H6). If Dad had only had six children, we would have a perfect
match. Thankfully, it is not a perfect match. Benzene is notable for its sweet
match. Thankfully, it is not a perfect match. Benzene is notable for its sweet
smell. It is also terribly toxic. Benzene is used to make plastics, that most totalitarian
smell. It is also terribly toxic. Benzene is used to make plastics, that most totalitarian
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ring, meaning the electrons have free movement among all six carbons. A bit
ring, meaning the electrons have free movement among all six carbons. A bit
like Mailer and his women. This also bears quite a resemblance to the Merry
like Mailer and his women. This also bears quite a resemblance to the Merry
Go Round described earlier.
Go Round described earlier. (See '''Figure 4''' and '''Figure 5''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-6.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 6''': Piano Keys]]
  placeholder for Figure 4 - Benzene Ring
[[File:Mr13-mai-7.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 7''': Notebook Diagrams of Sibling Models]]
 
  placeholder for Figure 5 - Dad & Siblings Benzene Ring
 
Next we have Norman as Pianist: the wives are the black keys and the
Next we have Norman as Pianist: the wives are the black keys and the
children, the white, and fit within an Octave until his marriage to Norris,
children, the white, and fit within an Octave until his marriage to Norris,
which starts a new Octave.
which starts a new Octave. (See '''Figure 6''' and '''Figure 7''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-8.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 8''': Cell Structure Siblings]]
  placeholder for Figure 6 - Piano Keys
[[File:Mr13-mai-9.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 9''': Mother as Cataclytic Converter]]
 
Here we have the Family as a cell membrane and here (See '''Figure 8'''), Mother (my
Here we have the Family as a cell membrane and here, Mother (my
Mother), as catalytic converter (See '''Figure 9'''). She was extremely protective, and one could
Mother), as catalytic converter. She was extremely protective, and one could
say she reduced any toxic emissions coming my way with the force of her
say she reduced any toxic emissions coming my way with the force of her
love, both for me, and for Norman, even after they split. So we have the
love, both for me, and for Norman, even after they split. So we have the
father-centric model, the child-centric model, and the wife-centric model.
father-centric model, the child-centric model, and the wife-centric model.
  placeholder for Figure 7 - Notebook Diagrams of Sibling Models
  placeholder for Figure 8 - Cell Structure Siblings
  placeholder for Figure 9 - Mother as Cataclytic Converter


As a painter, I have spent some time investigating this family structure,
As a painter, I have spent some time investigating this family structure,
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of my eight siblings. I see now that I was trying to accommodate eight
of my eight siblings. I see now that I was trying to accommodate eight
or nine possible viewpoints, and anything less felt wrong.
or nine possible viewpoints, and anything less felt wrong.
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-10.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 10''': Scissors Language 2]]
Here is a subsequent series of nine landscapes that I later understood as
Here is a subsequent series of nine landscapes that I later understood as
portraits of the nine of us in our varied terrain and palettes. I like connecting
portraits of the nine of us in our varied terrain and palettes. I like connecting
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this way, landscapes become psychological terrain, siblings and stepmothers
this way, landscapes become psychological terrain, siblings and stepmothers
become open fields and barren hillsides, and our family tree emerges as a
become open fields and barren hillsides, and our family tree emerges as a
guiding spirit in my creative processes.
guiding spirit in my creative processes. (See '''Figure 10''' and '''Figure 11''')
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-11.jpg|thumb|left|'''Figure 11''': The Dream Life of My Siblings]]
placeholder for Figure 10 - Scissors Language 2
 
placeholder for Figure 11 - The Dream Life of My Siblings
 
I will close with the piece I read at Carnegie Hall at Dad’s memorial.
I will close with the piece I read at Carnegie Hall at Dad’s memorial.
(show of hands: who heard it there?) I think it offers what the rest of the
(show of hands: who heard it there?) I think it offers what the rest of the
speech may have missed: My Father. We could say, this was one time I met
speech may have missed: My Father. We could say, this was one time I met
him. It is called, ''Fellow Geniuses:''
him. It is called, ''Fellow Geniuses'':


I am going to share with you a seminal work of non-fiction by my father:
I am going to share with you a seminal work of non-fiction by my father:
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point in a moment of annoyance with her, and imagining the deepening
point in a moment of annoyance with her, and imagining the deepening
bond with my father over our shared aversion to carpeted floors, I may have
bond with my father over our shared aversion to carpeted floors, I may have
dumped some of the sand onto the wall to wall and formed a Carl Andrelike
dumped some of the sand onto the wall to wall and formed a Carl Andre-like
floor piece.
floor piece.


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husband can attest, that our house today does perhaps bear a resemblance
husband can attest, that our house today does perhaps bear a resemblance
at times to events described here.
at times to events described here.
 
[[File:Mr13-mai-12.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 12''': Young Maggie’s Note from Dad]]
At fifteen, I was still too shy to speak easily with my father. Days might
At fifteen, I was still too shy to speak easily with my father. Days might
pass without conversing, but we would always exchange meaningful looks.
pass without conversing, but we would always exchange meaningful looks.
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a note from Dad, placed at the entrance, so as not to disturb me. “He must
a note from Dad, placed at the entrance, so as not to disturb me. “He must
be really impressed to put it in writing” I thought, and eagerly read his assessment
be really impressed to put it in writing” I thought, and eagerly read his assessment
of my work. (See Figure 12)
of my work. (See '''Figure 12''')


When I read this note at the Carnegie Hall tribute, I wasn’t sure about
When I read this note at the Carnegie Hall tribute, I wasn’t sure about
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Dad had a great generosity whereby, if he felt that you were serious or excited
Dad had a great generosity whereby, if he felt that you were serious or excited
about something, he would forget his anger, and give you his full at-
about something, he would forget his anger, and give you his full attention. He found me a little later and said, “Listen, I didn’t realize you were up to something in there. I took another look, and I’m pleased. I think you
 
  placeholder for Figure 12 - Young Maggie's Note from Dad
 
tention. He found me a little later and said, “Listen, I didn’t realize you were
up to something in there. I took another look, and I’m pleased. I think you
may be an artist. Finish the sculpture, I’d like to live with it a while. Maybe
may be an artist. Finish the sculpture, I’d like to live with it a while. Maybe
we’ll put it in the Living Room.”
we’ll put it in the Living Room.”
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I miss you.
I miss you.
===Work Cited===
{{Refbegin}}
*{{cite journal |last=Mailer |first=Maggie |title=Prism Break |journal=The Mailer Review
|volume=13 |issue=No. 1|date=2019 |pages=65-84 |access-date=2021 |ref=harv }}
{{Refend}}


{{Review}}
{{Review}}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Prism Break }}
{{DEFAULTSORT:Prism Break }}
[[Category:Articles (MR)]]
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