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__NOTOC__ | __NOTOC__ | ||
'''Project citation''': {{cite web |url=https://prmlr.us/liptons |title=Lipton’s Journal |last=Mailer |first=Norman |editor1-last=Lennon |editor1-first=J. Michael |editor2-last=Lucas |editor2-first=Gerald R. |editor3-last=Mailer |editor3-first=Susan |date=2020 |website=Project Mailer |publisher=The Norman Mailer Society |access-date=2020-12-20 |quote= |ref=harv }} | |||
==Entry Dates== | ==Entry Dates== | ||
===December 1, 1954=== | ===December 1, 1954=== | ||
Line 342: | Line 345: | ||
| 153 || 152 || Don Beda should be || || || | | 153 || 152 || Don Beda should be || || || | ||
|- | |- | ||
| 154 || 153 || Time as the sense of society || || || | | 154 || 153 || Time as the sense of society || || || Added hand-written note, but need to check last two words. | ||
|- | |- | ||
| 155 || 154 || Bob Lindner. As he reads || || || Notes. | | 155 || 154 || Bob Lindner. As he reads || || || Notes. | ||
Line 478: | Line 481: | ||
===January 24, 1955=== | ===January 24, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 215 || 214 || Word echoes. Possible way || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 216 || 215 || Friday, Saturday, and Sunday || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 217 || 216 || To begin with, one || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 218 || 217 || How I’m getting to love || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 219 || 218 || Spies are takers || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 220 || 219 || Thoughts about ''The Deer Park'' || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 221 || 220 || When Elena is first introduced || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 222 || 221 || Wrestlers and boxers || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 223 || 222 || Homeostasis and sociostasis || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 224 || 223 || What I have noticed || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 225 || 224 || My character. I have always || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 226 || 225 || Remember: The fear of being || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 227 || 226 || In The Journal of Marion Faye || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 228 || 227 || The movement of my writing || || || Should McLeod be glossed? | |||
|- | |||
| 229 || 228 || I have always been the romantic || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 230 || 229 || To condemn || L205, L228 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 231 || 230 || Our resistance about changing || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 232 || 231 || Rojo and ojo || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 233 || 232 || Man and his dog || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 234 || 233 || For three years while writing || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 235 || 234 || Romance and realism || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 236 || 235 || The saint and the psychopath || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 237 || 236 || In the saint-psychopath sense || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 238 || 237 || This is the best day || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 239 || 238 || I was deeply instinctively right || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 240 || 239 || Yet the course of human history || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 241 || 240 || For years, unknowingly || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 242 || 241 || Bebop. P and B are sibling consonants || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 244 || 243 || Golfers are people who take || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 245 || 244 || Put another way, the sociostatic || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 246 || 245 || But look at the philosophical || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 247 || 246 || It also suggests that action || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 248 || 247 || Which leads me to || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 249 || 248 || English is so magnificently blunt || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 250 || 249 || To go back to note 245 || L245 || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 251 || 250 || Joyful thought || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 252 || 251 || Children’s eating || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 253 || 252 || Everybody is both male and female || || || Should NM’s spelling be made consistent: e.g., bi-sexual or bisexual? | |||
|} | |||
===January 25, 1955=== | ===January 25, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 254 || 253 || The advances in medicine || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 255 || 254 || The predictor, the prophet || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 256 || 255 || The above note || L255 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 257 || 256 || Bob is the dishonest man || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 258 || 257 || I wonder if one doesn’t || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 259 || 258 || Typing errors || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 260 || 259 || But I wanted to finish || || {{icon|NO}} (partial) || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 261 || 260 || What I wrote about Sergius || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 262 || 261 || This Journal in so far || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 263 || 262 || I realized so many funny || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 264 || 263 || Since I started this Journal || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 265 || 264 || The sense of time || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 266 || 265 || Old people don’t slow down || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 267 || 266 || To continue 265 I wonder || L265 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 268 || style="background: red;" | 268 || The interesting confirmation || L267 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 269 || 269 || Fed up. We stuff ourselves || || {{icon|NO}} || Joe Rosenthal should be glossed? | |||
|- | |||
| 270 || 270 || Radicals. Particularly socialists || || || Fra Jean? | |||
|- | |||
| 271 || 271 || Prose on wings, tra-la, tra-la || L270 || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 272 || 272 || So, modestly, I see my mission || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 273 || 273 || Jews hated Hitler violently || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 274 || 274 || What is a monster? || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|} | |||
===January 26, 1955=== | ===January 26, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 275 || 275 || I am coming to believe || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 276 || 276 || I have noticed in analytic || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 277 || 277 || Let me put it this way || || || Should "basis" be "basic" in sentence 1? | |||
|- | |||
| 278 || 278 || I know now why I || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 279 || 279 || Clues, mysteries, puns || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 280 || 280 || In this sense, we are all || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 281 || 281 || If the above sounds very fancy || L280 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 282 || 282 || Sociostasis and sociostasis || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 283 || 283 || So in that sense || L282 || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 284 || 284 || Little confirmations of 282 || L282 || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 285 || 285 || I have to face something || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 286 || 286 || Dialogue: Yesterday, Hiram Haydn || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 287 || 287 || Word echoes: Go, man, go || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 288 || 288 || Bob Lindner is in the dramatic || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 289 || 289 || Let me try 283 again || L283 || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 290 || 290 || Now I come back || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 291 || 291 || The all-out Marxist || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 292 || 292 || Now, back to 290 || L290, L395 (in note) || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 293 || 293 || I’m getting exhausted || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 294 || 294 || One takes in order to understand || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 295 || 295 || But wrestlers who are givers || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 296 || 296 || Talk is cheap, action is hard || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 297 || 297 || Jokes. Argo. || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 298 || 298 || No wonder I’ve always been || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 299 || 299 || Back to x Jargon || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 300 || 300 || B is the first consonant || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 301 || 301 || Infant and I am faint || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 302 || 302 || Ant and ''and'' || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 303 || 303 || Obscenities: 69 || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 304 || 304 || Jazz. Z and s are sibling components || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 305 || 305 || At this moment I’m sick || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 306 || 306 || But what a compulsion || L305 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 307 || 307 || I’m getting weary || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 308 || 308 || Fuck, piss, cock, shit, cunt || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 309 || 309 || I have heard writers say || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 310 || 310 || When I was a kid || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 311 || 311 || My pompous man again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 312 || 312 || It seems obvious that insanity || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 313 || 313 || Word echoes. Job || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 314 || 314 || Aristocrats are usually takers || || || | |||
|} | |||
===January 27, 1955=== | ===January 27, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 315 || 315 || As was evident in the notes || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 316 || 316 || But what is also interesting || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 317 || 317 || What I distrust of course. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 318 || 318 || On the positive side || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 319 || 319 || Letter echoes: Be || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 320 || 320 || For some time I have wanted || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 321 || 321 || The business of putting || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 322 || 322 || Corollary. Whenever one reads || || || | |||
|} | |||
===January 31, 1955=== | ===January 31, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 323 || 323 || My birthday today || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 324 || 324 || A few word echoes || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 325 || 325 || Give-and-take || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 326 || 326 || The possibility of other || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 327 || 327 || The voice of radio and recordings || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 328 || 328 || But, carry this a step further || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 329 || 329 || One’s own voice || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 330 || 330 || One other observation || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 331 || 331 || Mimics are always psychopaths || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 332 || 332 || Last week I wrote || Search || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 333 || 333 || I have the feeling these days || || || How should the 3rd sentence read? | |||
|- | |||
| 334 || 334 || A great deal of this journal || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 335 || 335 || Jealousy. But what a mountain || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 336 || 336 || The cynic || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 337 || 337 || The conservatism of the female || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 338 || 338 || Word echoes. Breath, stripped || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 339 || 339 || Exceptional people || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 340 || 340 || Which brings me to Bob Lidner || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 341 || 341 || Page 100 || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 342 || 342 || Stimulants. My ideas which started || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 343 || 343 || Fascination keeps us on || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 344 || 344 || What I neglected to say || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 345 || 345 || Half-way stations || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 346 || 346 || Journalists—another variety of psychopath || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 347 || 347 || An interesting confirmation || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 348 || 348 || Pro and con—prick and cunt || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 349 || 349 || The Catholic Church || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 350 || 350 || Word echoes. The and he || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 351 || style="background: red;" | 350A || Word mirrors: || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 352 || 351 || I cannot say it often enough || || || Should “od” be corrected? | |||
|- | |||
| 353 || 352 || Horse-racing. An article || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 354 || 353 || Word echoes: Defense || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 355 || 354 || Word echoes. Good, God || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 356 || 355 || Good. Go to d, Go || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 357 || 356 || Modern painting || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 358 || 357 || The key to Bill Styron’s nature || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 359 || 358 || The inter-fecundation is starting || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 360 || 359 || Which gives an insight into || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 361 || 360 || I am always inept at arguing || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 362 || 361 || More typing errors deliver || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 363 || 362 || God and Jehovah, goal and jail || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 364 || 363 || Word echo: By—By || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 365 || 364 || A lot of this is probably || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 366 || 365 || A corroborating proof || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 367 || 366 || The reformer’s liberal ideas || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 368 || 367 || Nat Halper. His work on the Joyce || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 369 || 368 || Modern art. Liberals, social democrats || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 370 || 369 || Elena is a failure || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 371 || 370 || Cancer. I believe instinctively || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 372 || 371 || For ''The Deer Park'' || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 373 || 372 || Word echoes: If and Is || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 374 || 373 || I wrote the last note || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 375 || 374 || Consonant echoes: X || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 376 || 375 || The cross was where man || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 377 || 376 || Adele’s qualities || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 378 || 377 || The voice || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 379 || 378 || A note on my Self-Analysis || || || Notes. Is “sociismus” supposed to be “socialismus” (socialism)? | |||
|- | |||
| 380 || 379 || Word echoes. Son and sun || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 381 || 380 || What-the-hell || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 382 || 381 || Word echoes. Her and err || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 383 || 382 || What I am doing with letters || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 384 || 383 || Is W the world? || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 385 || 384 || Son of a bitch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 386 || 385 || Simply, directly, I excited || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 387 || 386 || Once in a while || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 388 || 387 || f and v. F is fuck || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 389 || 388 || I’m getting a little tired now || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 390 || 389 || Anyway, I think I’ll finish || || || Notes. | |||
|} | |||
===February 1, 1955=== | ===February 1, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 391 || 390 || Today makes two months || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 392 || 391 || Last night, having dinner || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 393 || 392 || Later, today, if I can || || {{Icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 394 || 393 || What appears to me right || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 395 || 394 || Word echoes. (I suppose || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 396 || 395 || Another word echo here || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 397 || 396 || The Burglar again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 398 || 397 || Disagreeable as it is || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 399 || 398 || I suppose the last note || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 400 || 399 || To finish note 390 || 390 || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 401 || 400 || One addition to this || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 402 || 401 || Back from lunch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 403 || 402 || A comment on the above || 402 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 404 || 403 || At the other end || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 405 || 404 || The Catholic would argue || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 406 || 405 || I may have a clue || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 407 || 406 || Word echoes. I’ve discussed jazz || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 408 || 407 || If my identification of red || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 409 || 408 || Gate. And r: Great. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 410 || 409 || The strength of the Church. || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 411 || 410 || A note on my father. || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 412 || 411 || And now I understand Monroe || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 413 || 412 || On how I can’t destroy love. || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 414 || 413 || One thing bothers me. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 415 || 414 || A lay analyst. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 416 || 415 || I have a hunch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 417 || 416 || My sexual scar. || 207 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 418 || 417 || Depression is coming on || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 419 || 418 || Perhaps the sexual explanation || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 420 || 419 || Jesus, I’d rather be || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 421 || 420 || A little interesting and || || {{Icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 422 || 421 || Decadence. I wonder || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 423 || 422 || The above note was written || 422 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 424 || 423 || Echoes and opposites. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 425 || 424 || The spectrum of the saint-psychopath. || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 426 || 425 || The above not ought || 425 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 427 || 426 || Before I quit, I want to list || || {{Icon|NO}} || | |||
|} | |||
===February 2, 1955=== | ===February 2, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 428 || 427 || Continuing on H || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 429 || 428 || The horrible thought occurs || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 430 || 429 || The artist and his paranoia. || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 431 || 430 || Note 214 was about the || 215 || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 432 || 431 || It is really incredible that || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 433 || 432 || Each of the Church’s dictums || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 434 || 433 || The gambler’s debt || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 435 || 434 || I’ve spent the last few hours || || || Notes. Where should the open parenthesis end? I don’t see the last sentence in the original. | |||
|} | |||
===February 7, 1955=== | ===February 7, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 436 || 435 || The opening into myself || || || The first parenthesis does not close. | |||
|- | |||
| 437 || 436 || One idea in this || || {{icon|NO}} || Text added to 436. | |||
|- | |||
| 438 || style="background: red;" | 436 || The intellectual is antipathetic || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 439 || 437 || At any rate each time || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 440 || 438 || I have to explain what || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 441 || 439 || But I go at this || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 442 || 440 || Besides I may discover || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 443 || 441 || Anyway, let’s go back || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 444 || 442 || Parenthesis after parenthesis || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 445 || 443 || The anarchist as he exists || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 446 || 444 || But, again, back to give-and-take || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 447 || 445 || Now, give-san-take || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 448 || 446 || Give-and take is the secret || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 449 || 447 || Marriage, every marriage || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 450 || 448 || Up and down, in and out || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 451 || 449 || The world of commerce || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 452 || 450 || Action is one of the enigmas || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 453 || 451 || Yet to stay alive we || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 454 || style="background: red;" | 451 || Let me put it another way || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 455 || 452 || So, a partial justification || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 456 || 453 || Just above I wrote 42 || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 457 || 454 || Perhaps the clue || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 458 || 455 || The crook in Bob Lindner || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 459 || 456 || Sesame. The sex of me || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 460 || 457 || But why can I understand || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 461 || 458 || After lunch, and how || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 462 || 459 || Crooks are interested || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 463 || 460 || What I started to say || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 464 || 461 || Japanese: Their word for yes || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 465 || 462 || Chinese: A very primitive language || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 466 || 463 || I’m one of the first || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 467 || 464 || There is so much to be said || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 468 || 465 || The art of the playwright || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 469 || 466 || Beating and being || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 470 || 467 || German. The Germans are philosophers || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 471 || 469 || Anyway, the Germans || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 472 || 470 || eeeeeeeeeeeeeee || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 473 || 471 || V becomes closer || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 474 || 472 || Double V is WW || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 475 || 473 || VVVVVVV is close || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 476 || 474 || Vomiting. I see || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 477 || 475 || Mother. The masculine other || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 478 || 476 || Er would be a far || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 479 || 477 || Super. To sup and to er || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 480 || 478 || I’m getting tired again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 481 || 479 || But I haven’t even begun || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 482 || 480 || Any rationalist reading || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 483 || 481 || For the first time I || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 484 || 482 || In the middle of the cliché || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 485 || 483 || But I just can’t get || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 486 || 484 || Let’s start with orgasm || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 487 || 485 || To attempt to go on || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 488 || 486 || To be continued tomorrow || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 489 || style="background: red;" | 486a || Before I go on with || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 490 || 487 || So, if my premise || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 491 || 488 || I keep trying to write || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 492 || 489 || Which is why I have || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 493 || 490 || Mom. A cunt O || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 494 || 491 || I’ve spent the last || 423 || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 495 || 492 || Following my Clue || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 496 || 493 || Back to bisexuals || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 497 || 494 || So, the bisexual in society || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 498 || 495 || I’m getting hipped || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 499 || 496 || The next “idea” || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 500 || 497 || What characterizes the power-mad || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 501 || 498 || I’ve just been out for lunch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 502 || style="background: red;" | 496 || This has all been a preface || 499 || || | |||
|- | |||
| 503 || 497 || At any rate, I still believe || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 504 || 498 || And, of course, the little || || {{note|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 505 || 499 || What a jewel of a word || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 506 || 500 || But what remains || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 507 || 501 || The cop is getting stronger || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 508 || 502 || I’ve got to shake this off || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 509 || 503 || The family dinner || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 510 || 504 || I don’t have the patience || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 511 || 505 || Dynamo. Dine at mom’s || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 512 || 506 || While we’re on consonants || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 513 || 507 || Example: Formalize (Fuck of || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 514 || 508 || From time to time I worry || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 515 || 509 || Course of events || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 516 || 510 || I have postulated unisexuality || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 517 || 511 || We and Us || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 518 || 512 || World. It is a prettier || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 519 || 513 || But ‘rectal’ I’m sure || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 520 || 514 || RL again. Relish || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 521 || 515 || The difficulty in consonant || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 522 || 516 || An old cliché is called || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 523 || 517 || Regal—egal || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 524 || 518 || Acts of the body || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 525 || 519 || The is and the ing. || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 526 || 520 || When an intelligent person || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 527 || 521 || Adele gets furious these days || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 528 || 522 || Actually, there’s no contradiction || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 529 || 523 || But this opens the peculiar || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 530 || 524 || Excelsior! Hardons onward || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 531 || 525 || Excelsior: What I’m getting at || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 532 || 526 || Now, of course, an analyst || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 533 || 527 || Yet, we cannot deny it || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 534 || 528 || I’m very dissatisfied || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 535 || 529 || Time is Number || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 536 || 530 || Toynbee’s challenge || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 537 || 531 || We and wee || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 538 || 532 || The beggar-king || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 539 || 533 || The reason the common people || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 540 || 534 || And so the enigma || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 541 || 535 || And that is why certain || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 542 || 536 || A dick is a cock || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 543 || 537 || Twot. The thing of what? || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 544 || 538 || Man and society || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 545 || 539 || I just realized that the reason || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 546 || 540 || Anybody who’s really || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 547 || 541 || I have to explore || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 548 || 542 || Hemingway’s peculiar weakness || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 549 || 543 || Depressants and stimulants || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 550 || 544 || The above was hardly || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 551 || 545 || So, to begin with, || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 552 || 546 || I’m written out || || || | |||
|} | |||
===February 10, 1955=== | ===February 10, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 553 || 547 || A new typewriter ribbon || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 554 || 548 || Today is L plus 1 || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 555 || 549 || But what I want to try || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 556 || 550 || This can help to explain || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 557 || 551 || For the analyst and the analysand || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 558 || 552 || I have come to a conclusion || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 559 || 553 || The fluoridation of water || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 560 || 554 || Investigating the consonants || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 561 || 555 || On the vowels || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 562 || 556 || I have an idea || || || Note. | |||
|} | |||
===February 14, 1955=== | ===February 14, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 563 || 557 || Again I start work || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 564 || 558 || The kick-off was || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 565 || 559 || I have not warmed up || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 566 || 560 || I’ve come up with something || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 567 || 561 || For days I’ve been working || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 568 || 562 || A lover of music || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 569 || 563 || But I am the person || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 570 || 564 || It can be stated || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 571 || 565 || Pain and pleasure || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 572 || 566 || “Stupid” people find || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 573 || style="background:red;" | 565 || Antacid Analgesic || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 574 || 566 || What a title || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 575 || 567 || Yes, I am a rationalist || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 576 || 568 || And isn’t that the Devil? || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 577 || 569 || My nose has stopped running || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 578 || 570 || A truly great man || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 579 || 571 || Ruthless and Truthful || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 580 || 572 || What I’ve been avoiding || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 581 || 573 || I got the D.T.’s || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 582 || 574 || Last night taking my Seconal || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 583 || 575 || What bothered me about || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 584 || 576 || Kill or be killed || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 585 || 577 || Ted Amussen cannot express || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 586 || 578 || The and He || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 587 || 579 || Antacid Analgesic is filled || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 588 || 580 || P, I believe, signifies || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 589 || 581 || Energy spent on solving || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 590 || 582 || The curve is life || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 591 || 583 || Classicist and Romantic || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 592 || 584 || Last night on the train || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 593 || 585 || My throat is sore again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 594 || 586 || Patience and impatience || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 595 || 587 || The reason this journal || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 596 || 588 || To understand a neurotic || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 597 || 589 || (ENTERING_and_LEAVING) || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 598 || 590 || Impatience—patience || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 599 || 591 || I’m really beginning to dig || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 600 || 592 || The malfunction of entering-leaving || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 601 || style="background:red;" | 592 || The phallic-narcissist (Jim Jones) || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 602 || 593 || Back from lunch || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 603 || style="background:red;" | 593 || But another revelatory contradiction || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 604 || 594 || “Freedom is the recognition || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 605 || 595 || I don’t know if I agree || 604 || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 606 || 596 || Let me make as assumption || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 607 || 597 || Yet, this is still true || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 608 || 598 || Which is where an understanding || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 609 || 599 || I lost weight all last summer || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 610 || 600 || I wonder if once smoking || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 611 || 601 || The rationalist says || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 612 || 602 || What I suspect about Lipton’s || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 613 || 603 || My sore throat seems gone || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 614 || 604 || One healthy thing I am || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 615 || 605 || The part and the whole || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 616 || 606 || As I said to Bob || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 617 || 607 || Reason, the logic on One || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 618 || 608 || One thing to say || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 619 || 609 || A thousand things yet || || || | |||
|} | |||
===February 21, 1955=== | ===February 21, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 620 || 610 || Avery (Men with the name || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 621 || 611 || Here we go again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 622 || 612 || Out of curiosity || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 623 || 613 || I truly have the feeling || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 624 || 614 || The reason I believe || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 625 || 615 || Saw Mutiny on the Bounty || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 626 || 616 || And Laughton || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 627 || 617 || Over and over I come || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 628 || 618 || Sup, x er, lerve, and the Juggler || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 629 || 619 || Back to Laughton || || || Notes. | |||
|- | |||
| 630 || 620 || A few word echoes || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 631 || 621 || My sore throat || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 632 || 622 || I have an enormously tense || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 633 || 623 || Cigarette smoking || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 634 || 624 || The cigarette is society’s substitute || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 635 || style="background:red;" | 624 || A shit-eating grin || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 636 || 625 || Before I go to lunch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 637 || 626 || Hatred is the defense || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 638 || 627 || Semen. How it appears everywhere || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 639 || 628 || Milk. Another semen-substitute || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 640 || 629 || Last night I caught a piece || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 641 || 630 || Tears and semen || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 642 || 631 || I realized during lunch || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 643 || 632 || Psychoanalyzing names || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 644 || 633 || Homosexuality || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 645 || 634 || The Burglar [Edmund Bergler] || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 646 || 635 || The phallic narcissist || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 647 || 636 || All day I have been holding || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 648 || style="background:red;" | 635 || There, Now, I like him again || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 649 || 636 || What’s in a name || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 650 || 637 || Three and tree || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 651 || 638 || Out of sight, out of mind || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 652 || 639 || I have a feeling that || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 653 || 635 || What occurs to me || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 654 || 636 || Over the weekend I took || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 655 || 637 || An article in Scientific American || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 656 || 638 || Word echoes and tag lines || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|} | |||
===February 22, 1955=== | ===February 22, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 657 || 639 || Today, I’m completely down || || Part {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 658 || 640 || I feel fairly barren of ideas || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 659 || 641 || First comes “back and front” || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 660 || 642 || A corollary. Refrigerators || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 661 || 643 || I have postulated consciousness || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 662 || 644 || There is only one revolution || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 663 || 645 || The revolutionary and the mystic || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 664 || 646 || Time. Our idea of it || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 665 || 647 || Thus, the future exists || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 666 || 648 || The value of commodities || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 667 || 649 || Has anyone remarked || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 668 || 650 || Actor’s say of an emotional || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 669 || 651 || Steve Allen obeys Joyce’s || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 670 || 652 || Social forms: We say || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 671 || 653 || Obscenity || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 672 || 654 || The double meaning of consonants || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 673 || 655 || They. Th ay Instantaneity || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 674 || 656 || When I take Lipton’s || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 675 || 657 || Psyche. Sigh—Key || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 676 || 658 || All business partnerships || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 677 || 659 || Shakespeare is the decadent genius || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 678 || 660 || The relation of h to f || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 679 || 661 || Chess. The dramatization || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 680 || 662 || The aviator is a hipster too || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 681 || 663 || Adele, as only I have seen her || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 682 || 664 || The salesman has to sell || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 683 || 665 || The foot-note leads || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 684 || 666 || I glimpse a form || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 685 || 667 || I suspect that the form || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 686 || 668 || Psyche Soma || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 687 || 669 || I can hardly complain || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 688 || 670 || I suspect that the frequency || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 689 || 671 || I still haven’t expressed || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 690 || 672 || The hush || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 691 || style="background:red;" | 672 || Laughter. We laugh when we || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 692 || 673 || The root ''oom'' || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 693 || 674 || V contain the opposed || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 694 || 675 || More on laughter || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 695 || 676 || Exh''iliar''ation and depression in writing || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 696 || 677 || Those periods in history || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 697 || 678 || In the course of this journal || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 698 || 679 || Ideas and thought || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 699 || 680 || People who are in || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 700 || 681 || Reversals. From Legman || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|} | |||
===March 4, 1955=== | ===March 4, 1955=== | ||
{| class="wikitable" style="width: 100%;" | |||
|- | |||
! # !! NM# !! First Words !! x-Refs !! Cut !! Notes | |||
|- | |||
| 701 || 682 || This is going to be tough || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 702 || 683 || Laughton came to town || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 703 || 684 || This typewriter is giving me || || {{icon|NO}} || | |||
|- | |||
| 704 || 685 || shit shit shit shit shit shit || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 705 || 686 || I do want to say || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 706 || 687 || In the interim || || || | |||
|- | |||
| 707 || 688 || Also I have been going || || || Note. | |||
|- | |||
| 708 || 689 || Tonight people are coming || || || | |||
|} | |||
==Questions== | ==Questions== |