Lipton’s Journal/February 7, 1955/494

I’ve spent the last half-hour re-reading the journal which seems better than it has on other occasions. In note 424 on the child in the center of the drum (I free-associated on fru du and came up with GOD—Fuck right up—Death up) I realized that in the note on the whisper becoming identified with the reply, there was a basic clue to the business of form and matter. For, I believe that the trick of consciousness which is Sup-dominated although er is always side by side with it, just as the unconscious is Er-dominated although sup is sibling there too—at any rate, the trick of consciousness is that it deludes us to believing that er is form and sup is matter.

For example, emotions which are never one, but various, contradictory, dialectic, and cloud-like are always understood as one. For instance, we say: I was angry. Or we say, I am in love, I love. In anger and love there is always a total spectrum in all dimensions, but we narrow the feeling to the point of a word. On the other hand, reason, logic, jargon, all the glories of plurality as Riesman might put it, are always ones, facts, understandings so frozen that they retard the succession of man, for our thought is always held back by the fact.

Only note: what I would say is that “thought”—which in our minds is always so various, so many-faceted, that we suffer in the attempt to narrow and unify it by language, thought is the presence (indeed, the present) of er-consciousness. But we make the incredible sup-enforced error of thinking of thought as reason, and we compound the villainy by the “scientific” attitude—we say implicitly that thought is intuition which satisfies reason. It is not True. Thought is intuition which is crippled by reason.