Lipton’s Journal/February 22, 1955/700

Reversals. From Legman.

Said a lecherous fellow named Shea
When his prick wouldn’t rise for a lay
“You must seize it and squeeze it
And tease it and please it,
For Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

So, I alter it by opposites to:

Heard the innocent heroine called Ash
Before her cunt could lie for a jazzsh
“I won’t touch it and tweeze it,
nor rough it n disease it,
Since home was lost at a lay.”

I suspect three-quarter of the Limericks in Legman’s collection were written by Legman. Combining the two limericks roughly, I get:

Sherd a inlechercant felloine nalled Shash
Befwhen hes prunt cuddlenot riles for a lash
Yi munt seach tit und squeets titsh
Endor ratoughtit n pladease shlit
Frince Rhome wasn’t bulostilted ina lady.
Mazeltov! The gash, you ash!

But written Mailerishly rather than Joycitly, it becomes.

Sherd at the inlechercent felloine nalled Shash
Head thea lechnocerous hero camed Ass-shy
Befwhen hes prunt cuddlenot riles for a lash
Whenfr hir cunck woodled 1 yars effort ‘d lay?
Yi munt seach tit und squeets titsh
I-uh wost tease itty ant tweeks itty
Endor ratoughtit n pladease shlit
N rant tyoffitty indispleaset
Frince Rhome washt bulostilted ina lady
Sinfor er ‘one snotwas lowbilt innerouter daily

This was all done more or less mechanically and with only mild variations, but it has its fun and its incredible fuck feeling I think. Read it aloud. To be called The Drunk’s Jazz-Time Chowder and Marching Sash-holy-lydie.