|
|
Line 917: |
Line 917: |
| | 416 || 415 || I have a hunch || || || | | | 416 || 415 || I have a hunch || || || |
| |- | | |- |
| | 417 || 416 || My sexual scar. || || || | | | 417 || 416 || My sexual scar. || 207 || || |
| |- | | |- |
| | 418 || 417 || Depression is coming on || || || | | | 418 || 417 || Depression is coming on || || || |
Latest revision as of 07:42, 30 July 2022
Project citation: Mailer, Norman (2020). Lennon, J. Michael; Lucas, Gerald R.; Mailer, Susan, eds. "Lipton's Journal". Project Mailer. The Norman Mailer Society. Retrieved 2020-12-20.
Entry Dates
December 1, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
1 |
1 |
Perhaps the artist is less |
|
|
|
2 |
2 |
Lipton's seems to open one |
|
|
|
3 |
3 |
Fucking is perhaps an approach |
|
|
|
4 |
4 |
In relation to (1) |
L1 |
|
Note.
|
5 |
5 |
The concentration camp novel |
|
|
Note. Unclear x-ref # in note.
|
6 |
6 |
One should always listen attentively |
|
|
Note.
|
7 |
7 |
Herbert A[ptheker]. said of Lipton’s |
|
|
Note.
|
8 |
8 |
In modern jazz, one feels |
|
|
Note.
|
9 |
9 |
Thoreau’s beautiful remark |
|
|
Note.
|
10 |
10 |
I upset Herbert [Aptheker] by saying |
|
|
|
11 |
11 |
In a short novel |
|
|
Note.
|
December 8, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
12 |
12 |
One should always try to |
|
|
|
13 |
13 |
It seems to me that |
|
|
|
14 |
14 |
It is possible that many |
|
|
Note.
|
15 |
15 |
All of my life with Adele |
|
|
|
16 |
16 |
If there is that other world |
|
|
|
17 |
17 |
Listening to a child |
|
|
|
18 |
18 |
I advertise to everyone |
|
|
|
19 |
19 |
Six and Four are close |
|
|
|
20 |
20 |
Knowledge is systematized ignorance |
|
|
|
21 |
21 |
A novel is slowly emerging |
|
|
|
22 |
22 |
It may be that the |
|
|
|
23 |
23 |
In the conc. camp novel |
L17 |
|
|
24 |
24 |
There may actually be such |
|
|
|
25 |
25 |
Every word sets up |
L24 |
|
Note.
|
26 |
26 |
Television may have some extraordinary |
|
|
Note.
|
27 |
27 |
Possibly the spasmodic nervous system |
|
|
|
28 |
28 |
Vomiting may be the orgasm |
|
|
|
29 |
29 |
No saint can be a teacher |
|
|
|
30 |
30 |
Infants may be enormously wise |
|
|
|
31 |
31 |
The saint and the psychopath |
|
|
Note.
|
32 |
32 |
No one is more unreligious |
|
|
|
33 |
33 |
Medicine may be witchcraft |
|
|
end: [and] its emphasis on progress.
|
34 |
34 |
The aggressive instinct |
|
|
|
35 |
35 |
Psychoanalysis, liberalism, etc. etc. |
|
|
|
36 |
36 |
I have learned more from |
|
|
|
37 |
37 |
In The Deer Park after the |
|
|
Note.
|
38 |
38 |
If the more saintly people |
|
|
|
39 |
39 |
In a Collier’s article |
|
|
Note.
|
40 |
40 |
Words are not entirely bad |
|
|
|
41 |
41 |
Death may be the price |
|
|
|
42 |
42 |
I know nothing about semantics |
|
|
|
43 |
43 |
Talk with Rhoda L. |
|
|
Note.
|
December 17, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
44 |
44 |
The saint and the churchman |
|
|
|
45 |
45 |
There is no death-instinct |
|
|
|
46 |
46 |
What worries me today |
|
|
|
47 |
47 |
Spengler is a great writer |
L48 |
|
Notes.
|
48 |
48 |
Swing in jazz is different |
|
|
|
49 |
49 |
When Susie speaks of “war” |
|
|
|
50 |
50 |
There is a lesson for me |
L47 |
|
|
51 |
51 |
A remark on why psychoanalysts |
|
|
|
52 |
52 |
When the businessman thinks |
|
|
|
53 |
53 |
Perhaps the reason Susy |
|
|
Note.
|
54 |
54 |
I understand now what Danny |
|
|
Notes.
|
55 |
55 |
The word is a flat |
|
|
|
56 |
56 |
In the larger sense |
|
|
Note.
|
57 |
57 |
The Stalinists have sneered |
|
|
Note.
|
58 |
58 |
My characters in The Deer Park |
|
|
|
59 |
58 |
Equations: Man is born |
|
|
Added punctuation in ¶3.
|
60 |
59 |
The big novel could |
|
|
Note.
|
61 |
60 |
I learned a practical matter |
|
|
|
62 |
61 |
I have always hated sentimentality |
|
|
|
63 |
62 |
The measurement of time |
|
|
|
64 |
63 |
Advertising and television and radio |
|
|
Note.
|
65 |
64 |
Because the desire for material |
|
|
|
66 |
65 |
Almost always experts can never |
|
|
|
December 28, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
67 |
66 |
At its best, my mind |
|
|
|
68 |
67 |
Over and over again |
|
|
|
December 29, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
69 |
68 |
“Vested interest” is enormously more |
|
|
|
70 |
69 |
Get beneath words |
|
(partial) |
|
71 |
70 |
The gossip is the great |
|
|
|
72 |
71 |
Words have not only echoes |
|
|
|
73 |
72 |
The concealments of language |
|
|
|
74 |
73 |
The sensual is the soul’s |
|
|
|
75 |
74 |
The Sense of the Past |
|
|
|
76 |
75 |
There are two kinds of hatred |
|
|
|
77 |
76 |
The power of the word |
|
|
Note.
|
78 |
77 |
They key to Sergius’ character |
|
|
|
79 |
78 |
The breakup with Lulu |
|
|
Note.
|
80 |
79 |
Jokes. Charley Wiener just said |
|
|
Note needed?: Charley Wiener
|
81 |
80 |
Eitel in court |
|
|
Note.
|
82 |
81 |
In error there is also truth |
|
|
|
83 |
82 |
Eitel and Elena—last chapter |
|
|
Note. Use partial w/ L81, too.
|
84 |
83 |
Don Beda |
|
|
Note.
|
85 |
84 |
Interpretations of present events |
|
|
Notes.
|
86 |
85 |
My feeling about semantics |
L42 |
|
Note.
|
87 |
86 |
One thing must be said |
L85, L71 |
|
|
88 |
87 |
Stories of dreams |
|
|
|
89 |
88 |
Bombing as the great shitting |
|
|
|
90 |
89 |
Comedians and comic writers |
|
|
|
91 |
90 |
Women who always hate |
|
|
|
92 |
91 |
The more knowledge |
|
|
|
93 |
92 |
Possibly, bad works of art |
|
|
|
94 |
93 |
The spy (another adventurer) |
|
|
Note.
|
95 |
94 |
Actors and spies |
|
|
|
96 |
95 |
When a friend says |
|
|
|
97 |
96 |
“Am I boring you?” |
|
|
|
98 |
97 |
So, boredom, depression, laughter |
|
|
|
99 |
98 |
Saints and psychopaths |
|
|
|
100 |
99 |
Laughter is spiritual |
|
|
|
101 |
100 |
The psychopath sees the present |
|
|
|
102 |
101 |
So the hipster is the adventurer |
|
|
|
103 |
102 |
Given my intellectual verbal mind |
|
|
|
104 |
103 |
A possibility occurs to me |
|
|
Note.
|
105 |
104 |
Marion Faye note |
|
|
|
106 |
105 |
Note 103 could be |
L103 |
|
Could the x-ref actually be L105?
|
107 |
106 |
Marion Faye note |
|
|
Note.
|
108 |
107 |
Marion Faye on Eitel |
|
|
|
109 |
108 |
Marion Faye in prison |
|
|
|
110 |
109 |
Sergius is my brother |
|
|
|
111 |
110 |
Marion F Journal |
|
|
|
112 |
111 |
My journal again |
|
|
|
113 |
112 |
False humility |
|
|
Seems like this should not be cut, as L115 alludes to it.
|
114 |
113 |
Marion Faye journal |
|
|
|
115 |
114 |
(My journal) Arrogance |
|
|
|
116 |
115 |
Humor is more than wit |
|
|
|
117 |
116 |
Marion Faye’s note |
|
|
|
118 |
117 |
Man may be terrible |
|
|
|
119 |
118 |
The fear of being ridiculous |
|
|
|
120 |
119 |
Toward the end of Marion |
|
|
|
121 |
120 |
Marion Faye’s note about |
|
|
|
122 |
121 |
Any art-work which |
|
|
|
123 |
122 |
“Do you know, Sergius?” |
|
|
|
124 |
123 |
Dorothea O’Faye could figure |
|
|
|
December 31, 1954
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
125 |
124 |
I am getting whole bodies |
|
|
|
126 |
125 |
Thoughts. All thoughts in words |
|
|
Note.
|
127 |
126 |
People who make love |
|
|
|
128 |
127 |
Get a tape recorder |
|
|
Note. [add tea time info] still needed
|
129 |
128 |
Word echoes: We have |
|
|
|
130 |
129 |
On the understanding of genius |
|
|
|
131 |
130 |
Word echoes. Mother and smother |
|
|
|
132 |
131 |
Seriously, truly, just simply |
|
|
|
133 |
132 |
In Marion Faye’s journal |
|
|
|
134 |
133 |
Jazz is more creative |
|
|
|
135 |
134 |
I used to be outwardly |
|
|
|
136 |
135 |
Years ago, working with Malaquais |
|
|
|
137 |
136 |
The world allows us to express |
|
|
|
138 |
137 |
My ambition remains |
|
|
|
139 |
138 |
I think that the new |
|
|
|
140 |
139 |
Sexual psychopathy would be normal |
|
|
Note.
|
141 |
140 |
What I learn about The Deer Park |
|
|
|
142 |
141 |
Most celebrities are people |
|
|
|
143 |
142 |
Marion Faye’s journal |
|
|
|
144 |
143 |
Anyone reading these notes |
|
|
|
145 |
144 |
At the point where Eitel |
|
|
|
146 |
145 |
The universe is a vast puzzle |
|
|
|
147 |
146 |
In N.Y. if we want |
|
|
Note.
|
148 |
147 |
Time is the sense of society |
|
|
|
149 |
148 |
The so-called decadent writers |
|
|
|
150 |
149 |
Wild thought. The atom bomb |
|
|
Note.
|
151 |
150 |
Don Beda should be |
|
|
|
152 |
151 |
What Stalinists see |
|
|
|
153 |
152 |
Don Beda should be |
|
|
|
154 |
153 |
Time as the sense of society |
|
|
Added hand-written note, but need to check last two words.
|
155 |
154 |
Bob Lindner. As he reads |
|
|
Notes.
|
156 |
155 |
The homo-erotic corollary |
|
|
Notes.
|
157 |
156 |
The corollary of this |
|
|
Note.
|
158 |
157 |
What courage Adele has |
|
|
Notes.
|
159 |
158 |
What terrifies me is exactly |
|
|
|
160 |
159 |
The fuck novel, “Antacid Analgesique.” |
|
|
Note.
|
January 3, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
161 |
160 |
If this record is to have |
|
|
|
162 |
161 |
One of the curious effects |
|
|
|
163 |
162 |
What I dislike so much |
|
|
|
164 |
163 |
Perhaps a man kills |
|
|
|
165 |
164 |
With Marion Faye this took |
|
|
|
166 |
165 |
A psychopath expands |
|
|
|
167 |
166 |
Any human scene |
|
|
|
168 |
167 |
Precise speech appeals |
|
|
|
169 |
168 |
Our fear of ghosts |
|
|
|
170 |
169 |
On the other hand |
|
|
|
171 |
170 |
The sensitivity spectrum |
|
|
Note.
|
172 |
171 |
Does telepathic mean sick telepathy? |
|
|
|
173 |
172 |
On television, many of the ads |
|
|
|
174 |
173 |
There is also the possibility |
|
|
|
175 |
174 |
Listening to Dizzy Gillespie |
|
|
Note.
|
176 |
175 |
Word echoes |
|
|
|
177 |
176 |
I suspect that an index |
|
|
|
178 |
177 |
Psychopathic love |
|
|
|
179 |
178 |
Consider whether Elena after |
|
|
|
180 |
179 |
Sports and sex |
|
|
|
181 |
180 |
Musicians. The saxophonist |
|
|
|
182 |
181 |
Steve Allen talking while |
|
|
Note.
|
183 |
182 |
I heard “The Star-Spangled Banner” |
|
|
|
184 |
183 |
Competition of personality marks |
|
|
|
185 |
184 |
Name for a Negro |
|
|
|
186 |
185 |
Be-bop chorus |
|
|
|
187 |
186 |
We may all have a social |
|
|
Notes.
|
188 |
187 |
Perhaps the secret |
|
|
Note.
|
189 |
188 |
This is the age |
|
|
|
190 |
189 |
Memory may be a layer |
|
|
Mailer underlined the first two sentences and wrote “Expand” in the margin.
|
191 |
190 |
There’s no such thing |
|
|
|
192 |
191 |
How do you like my |
|
|
|
193 |
192 |
Fatty foods are cunt foods |
|
|
|
194 |
193 |
Bob told the pickle factory joke |
|
|
|
195 |
194 |
Obscenity substitutes |
|
|
|
196 |
195 |
Obscenity echoes |
|
|
|
197 |
196 |
In Barbary Shore I planted |
|
|
|
January 20, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
198 |
197 |
The poor drawing |
|
|
|
199 |
198 |
Looking at myself |
|
|
Note.
|
200 |
199 |
This is the age |
|
|
Notes.
|
201 |
200 |
When we run across |
|
|
Note.
|
202 |
201 |
The tragic air of Mexico |
|
|
Note.
|
203 |
202 |
Rich boys are proud |
|
|
|
204 |
203 |
“Instants” and “moments” |
|
|
|
205 |
204 |
John Walsh is a homosexual |
|
|
Note. NM wrote “expand” in the margin-left of the last paragraph.
|
206 |
205 |
If I have qualities of genius |
|
|
|
207 |
206 |
The Perfect Secretary |
|
|
See NM’s written gloss.
|
208 |
207 |
The night Bob spoke |
|
|
Note.
|
209 |
208 |
The affected person |
|
|
|
210 |
209 |
How much real hatred |
|
|
|
211 |
210 |
What we do on the surface |
|
|
|
212 |
211 |
Homeostasis may be true |
|
(partial) |
|
213 |
212 |
Our perception of others |
|
|
|
214 |
213 |
Word echoes. Son is sin |
|
|
|
January 24, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
215 |
214 |
Word echoes. Possible way |
|
|
|
216 |
215 |
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday |
|
|
Note.
|
217 |
216 |
To begin with, one |
|
|
Notes.
|
218 |
217 |
How I’m getting to love |
|
|
|
219 |
218 |
Spies are takers |
|
|
|
220 |
219 |
Thoughts about The Deer Park |
|
|
|
221 |
220 |
When Elena is first introduced |
|
|
|
222 |
221 |
Wrestlers and boxers |
|
|
|
223 |
222 |
Homeostasis and sociostasis |
|
|
Note.
|
224 |
223 |
What I have noticed |
|
|
Note.
|
225 |
224 |
My character. I have always |
|
|
Notes.
|
226 |
225 |
Remember: The fear of being |
|
|
|
227 |
226 |
In The Journal of Marion Faye |
|
|
|
228 |
227 |
The movement of my writing |
|
|
Should McLeod be glossed?
|
229 |
228 |
I have always been the romantic |
|
|
|
230 |
229 |
To condemn |
L205, L228 |
|
|
231 |
230 |
Our resistance about changing |
|
|
Note.
|
232 |
231 |
Rojo and ojo |
|
|
|
233 |
232 |
Man and his dog |
|
|
|
234 |
233 |
For three years while writing |
|
|
|
235 |
234 |
Romance and realism |
|
|
Note.
|
236 |
235 |
The saint and the psychopath |
|
|
|
237 |
236 |
In the saint-psychopath sense |
|
|
|
238 |
237 |
This is the best day |
|
|
|
239 |
238 |
I was deeply instinctively right |
|
|
|
240 |
239 |
Yet the course of human history |
|
|
|
241 |
240 |
For years, unknowingly |
|
|
|
242 |
241 |
Bebop. P and B are sibling consonants |
|
|
Notes.
|
244 |
243 |
Golfers are people who take |
|
|
|
245 |
244 |
Put another way, the sociostatic |
|
|
|
246 |
245 |
But look at the philosophical |
|
|
|
247 |
246 |
It also suggests that action |
|
|
|
248 |
247 |
Which leads me to |
|
|
Note.
|
249 |
248 |
English is so magnificently blunt |
|
|
|
250 |
249 |
To go back to note 245 |
L245 |
|
Notes.
|
251 |
250 |
Joyful thought |
|
|
|
252 |
251 |
Children’s eating |
|
|
Note.
|
253 |
252 |
Everybody is both male and female |
|
|
Should NM’s spelling be made consistent: e.g., bi-sexual or bisexual?
|
January 25, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
254 |
253 |
The advances in medicine |
|
|
|
255 |
254 |
The predictor, the prophet |
|
|
Note.
|
256 |
255 |
The above note |
L255 |
|
|
257 |
256 |
Bob is the dishonest man |
|
|
|
258 |
257 |
I wonder if one doesn’t |
|
|
|
259 |
258 |
Typing errors |
|
|
|
260 |
259 |
But I wanted to finish |
|
(partial) |
Note.
|
261 |
260 |
What I wrote about Sergius |
|
|
|
262 |
261 |
This Journal in so far |
|
|
|
263 |
262 |
I realized so many funny |
|
|
|
264 |
263 |
Since I started this Journal |
|
|
Notes.
|
265 |
264 |
The sense of time |
|
|
|
266 |
265 |
Old people don’t slow down |
|
|
|
267 |
266 |
To continue 265 I wonder |
L265 |
|
|
268 |
268 |
The interesting confirmation |
L267 |
|
|
269 |
269 |
Fed up. We stuff ourselves |
|
|
Joe Rosenthal should be glossed?
|
270 |
270 |
Radicals. Particularly socialists |
|
|
Fra Jean?
|
271 |
271 |
Prose on wings, tra-la, tra-la |
L270 |
|
Note.
|
272 |
272 |
So, modestly, I see my mission |
|
|
|
273 |
273 |
Jews hated Hitler violently |
|
|
|
274 |
274 |
What is a monster? |
|
|
|
January 26, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
275 |
275 |
I am coming to believe |
|
|
|
276 |
276 |
I have noticed in analytic |
|
|
Note.
|
277 |
277 |
Let me put it this way |
|
|
Should "basis" be "basic" in sentence 1?
|
278 |
278 |
I know now why I |
|
|
|
279 |
279 |
Clues, mysteries, puns |
|
|
|
280 |
280 |
In this sense, we are all |
|
|
|
281 |
281 |
If the above sounds very fancy |
L280 |
|
|
282 |
282 |
Sociostasis and sociostasis |
|
|
Notes.
|
283 |
283 |
So in that sense |
L282 |
|
Note.
|
284 |
284 |
Little confirmations of 282 |
L282 |
|
|
285 |
285 |
I have to face something |
|
|
Note.
|
286 |
286 |
Dialogue: Yesterday, Hiram Haydn |
|
|
Note.
|
287 |
287 |
Word echoes: Go, man, go |
|
|
|
288 |
288 |
Bob Lindner is in the dramatic |
|
|
Note.
|
289 |
289 |
Let me try 283 again |
L283 |
|
Note.
|
290 |
290 |
Now I come back |
|
|
|
291 |
291 |
The all-out Marxist |
|
|
|
292 |
292 |
Now, back to 290 |
L290, L395 (in note) |
|
Note.
|
293 |
293 |
I’m getting exhausted |
|
|
|
294 |
294 |
One takes in order to understand |
|
|
|
295 |
295 |
But wrestlers who are givers |
|
|
|
296 |
296 |
Talk is cheap, action is hard |
|
|
|
297 |
297 |
Jokes. Argo. |
|
|
|
298 |
298 |
No wonder I’ve always been |
|
|
|
299 |
299 |
Back to x Jargon |
|
|
|
300 |
300 |
B is the first consonant |
|
|
|
301 |
301 |
Infant and I am faint |
|
|
|
302 |
302 |
Ant and and |
|
|
|
303 |
303 |
Obscenities: 69 |
|
|
|
304 |
304 |
Jazz. Z and s are sibling components |
|
|
|
305 |
305 |
At this moment I’m sick |
|
|
|
306 |
306 |
But what a compulsion |
L305 |
|
|
307 |
307 |
I’m getting weary |
|
|
Note.
|
308 |
308 |
Fuck, piss, cock, shit, cunt |
|
|
|
309 |
309 |
I have heard writers say |
|
|
|
310 |
310 |
When I was a kid |
|
|
Note.
|
311 |
311 |
My pompous man again |
|
|
|
312 |
312 |
It seems obvious that insanity |
|
|
|
313 |
313 |
Word echoes. Job |
|
|
|
314 |
314 |
Aristocrats are usually takers |
|
|
|
January 27, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
315 |
315 |
As was evident in the notes |
|
|
|
316 |
316 |
But what is also interesting |
|
|
|
317 |
317 |
What I distrust of course. |
|
|
|
318 |
318 |
On the positive side |
|
|
|
319 |
319 |
Letter echoes: Be |
|
|
|
320 |
320 |
For some time I have wanted |
|
|
Note.
|
321 |
321 |
The business of putting |
|
|
|
322 |
322 |
Corollary. Whenever one reads |
|
|
|
January 31, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
323 |
323 |
My birthday today |
|
|
|
324 |
324 |
A few word echoes |
|
|
|
325 |
325 |
Give-and-take |
|
|
|
326 |
326 |
The possibility of other |
|
|
Notes.
|
327 |
327 |
The voice of radio and recordings |
|
|
|
328 |
328 |
But, carry this a step further |
|
|
|
329 |
329 |
One’s own voice |
|
|
|
330 |
330 |
One other observation |
|
|
|
331 |
331 |
Mimics are always psychopaths |
|
|
|
332 |
332 |
Last week I wrote |
Search |
|
Note.
|
333 |
333 |
I have the feeling these days |
|
|
How should the 3rd sentence read?
|
334 |
334 |
A great deal of this journal |
|
|
|
335 |
335 |
Jealousy. But what a mountain |
|
|
|
336 |
336 |
The cynic |
|
|
|
337 |
337 |
The conservatism of the female |
|
|
|
338 |
338 |
Word echoes. Breath, stripped |
|
|
|
339 |
339 |
Exceptional people |
|
|
Notes.
|
340 |
340 |
Which brings me to Bob Lidner |
|
|
Note.
|
341 |
341 |
Page 100 |
|
|
|
342 |
342 |
Stimulants. My ideas which started |
|
|
|
343 |
343 |
Fascination keeps us on |
|
|
|
344 |
344 |
What I neglected to say |
|
|
|
345 |
345 |
Half-way stations |
|
|
|
346 |
346 |
Journalists—another variety of psychopath |
|
|
|
347 |
347 |
An interesting confirmation |
|
|
|
348 |
348 |
Pro and con—prick and cunt |
|
|
|
349 |
349 |
The Catholic Church |
|
|
|
350 |
350 |
Word echoes. The and he |
|
|
|
351 |
350A |
Word mirrors: |
|
|
|
352 |
351 |
I cannot say it often enough |
|
|
Should “od” be corrected?
|
353 |
352 |
Horse-racing. An article |
|
|
Note.
|
354 |
353 |
Word echoes: Defense |
|
|
|
355 |
354 |
Word echoes. Good, God |
|
|
|
356 |
355 |
Good. Go to d, Go |
|
|
|
357 |
356 |
Modern painting |
|
|
|
358 |
357 |
The key to Bill Styron’s nature |
|
|
Note.
|
359 |
358 |
The inter-fecundation is starting |
|
|
|
360 |
359 |
Which gives an insight into |
|
|
|
361 |
360 |
I am always inept at arguing |
|
|
|
362 |
361 |
More typing errors deliver |
|
|
|
363 |
362 |
God and Jehovah, goal and jail |
|
|
|
364 |
363 |
Word echo: By—By |
|
|
|
365 |
364 |
A lot of this is probably |
|
|
|
366 |
365 |
A corroborating proof |
|
|
|
367 |
366 |
The reformer’s liberal ideas |
|
|
|
368 |
367 |
Nat Halper. His work on the Joyce |
|
|
Note.
|
369 |
368 |
Modern art. Liberals, social democrats |
|
|
|
370 |
369 |
Elena is a failure |
|
|
|
371 |
370 |
Cancer. I believe instinctively |
|
|
|
372 |
371 |
For The Deer Park |
|
|
|
373 |
372 |
Word echoes: If and Is |
|
|
|
374 |
373 |
I wrote the last note |
|
|
|
375 |
374 |
Consonant echoes: X |
|
|
|
376 |
375 |
The cross was where man |
|
|
|
377 |
376 |
Adele’s qualities |
|
|
|
378 |
377 |
The voice |
|
|
|
379 |
378 |
A note on my Self-Analysis |
|
|
Notes. Is “sociismus” supposed to be “socialismus” (socialism)?
|
380 |
379 |
Word echoes. Son and sun |
|
|
|
381 |
380 |
What-the-hell |
|
|
|
382 |
381 |
Word echoes. Her and err |
|
|
|
383 |
382 |
What I am doing with letters |
|
|
|
384 |
383 |
Is W the world? |
|
|
|
385 |
384 |
Son of a bitch |
|
|
|
386 |
385 |
Simply, directly, I excited |
|
|
|
387 |
386 |
Once in a while |
|
|
|
388 |
387 |
f and v. F is fuck |
|
|
|
389 |
388 |
I’m getting a little tired now |
|
|
|
390 |
389 |
Anyway, I think I’ll finish |
|
|
Notes.
|
February 1, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
391 |
390 |
Today makes two months |
|
|
|
392 |
391 |
Last night, having dinner |
|
|
|
393 |
392 |
Later, today, if I can |
|
|
|
394 |
393 |
What appears to me right |
|
|
|
395 |
394 |
Word echoes. (I suppose |
|
|
|
396 |
395 |
Another word echo here |
|
|
|
397 |
396 |
The Burglar again |
|
|
|
398 |
397 |
Disagreeable as it is |
|
|
Notes.
|
399 |
398 |
I suppose the last note |
|
|
|
400 |
399 |
To finish note 390 |
390 |
|
Notes.
|
401 |
400 |
One addition to this |
|
|
|
402 |
401 |
Back from lunch |
|
|
|
403 |
402 |
A comment on the above |
402 |
|
|
404 |
403 |
At the other end |
|
|
Note.
|
405 |
404 |
The Catholic would argue |
|
|
Note.
|
406 |
405 |
I may have a clue |
|
|
|
407 |
406 |
Word echoes. I’ve discussed jazz |
|
|
|
408 |
407 |
If my identification of red |
|
|
|
409 |
408 |
Gate. And r: Great. |
|
|
|
410 |
409 |
The strength of the Church. |
|
|
Note.
|
411 |
410 |
A note on my father. |
|
|
Note.
|
412 |
411 |
And now I understand Monroe |
|
|
Note.
|
413 |
412 |
On how I can’t destroy love. |
|
|
Note.
|
414 |
413 |
One thing bothers me. |
|
|
|
415 |
414 |
A lay analyst. |
|
|
|
416 |
415 |
I have a hunch |
|
|
|
417 |
416 |
My sexual scar. |
207 |
|
|
418 |
417 |
Depression is coming on |
|
|
|
419 |
418 |
Perhaps the sexual explanation |
|
|
|
420 |
419 |
Jesus, I’d rather be |
|
|
|
421 |
420 |
A little interesting and |
|
|
|
422 |
421 |
Decadence. I wonder |
|
|
|
423 |
422 |
The above note was written |
422 |
|
|
424 |
423 |
Echoes and opposites. |
|
|
|
425 |
424 |
The spectrum of the saint-psychopath. |
|
|
Note.
|
426 |
425 |
The above not ought |
425 |
|
|
427 |
426 |
Before I quit, I want to list |
|
|
|
February 2, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
428 |
427 |
Continuing on H |
|
|
|
429 |
428 |
The horrible thought occurs |
|
|
|
430 |
429 |
The artist and his paranoia. |
|
|
|
431 |
430 |
Note 214 was about the |
215 |
|
|
432 |
431 |
It is really incredible that |
|
|
|
433 |
432 |
Each of the Church’s dictums |
|
|
|
434 |
433 |
The gambler’s debt |
|
|
|
435 |
434 |
I’ve spent the last few hours |
|
|
Notes. Where should the open parenthesis end? I don’t see the last sentence in the original.
|
February 7, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
436 |
435 |
The opening into myself |
|
|
The first parenthesis does not close.
|
437 |
436 |
One idea in this |
|
|
Text added to 436.
|
438 |
436 |
The intellectual is antipathetic |
|
|
|
439 |
437 |
At any rate each time |
|
|
|
440 |
438 |
I have to explain what |
|
|
|
441 |
439 |
But I go at this |
|
|
|
442 |
440 |
Besides I may discover |
|
|
|
443 |
441 |
Anyway, let’s go back |
|
|
|
444 |
442 |
Parenthesis after parenthesis |
|
|
|
445 |
443 |
The anarchist as he exists |
|
|
|
446 |
444 |
But, again, back to give-and-take |
|
|
|
447 |
445 |
Now, give-san-take |
|
|
|
448 |
446 |
Give-and take is the secret |
|
|
|
449 |
447 |
Marriage, every marriage |
|
|
|
450 |
448 |
Up and down, in and out |
|
|
|
451 |
449 |
The world of commerce |
|
|
|
452 |
450 |
Action is one of the enigmas |
|
|
|
453 |
451 |
Yet to stay alive we |
|
|
|
454 |
451 |
Let me put it another way |
|
|
|
455 |
452 |
So, a partial justification |
|
|
|
456 |
453 |
Just above I wrote 42 |
|
|
|
457 |
454 |
Perhaps the clue |
|
|
|
458 |
455 |
The crook in Bob Lindner |
|
|
Note.
|
459 |
456 |
Sesame. The sex of me |
|
|
|
460 |
457 |
But why can I understand |
|
|
Note.
|
461 |
458 |
After lunch, and how |
|
|
|
462 |
459 |
Crooks are interested |
|
|
Note.
|
463 |
460 |
What I started to say |
|
|
|
464 |
461 |
Japanese: Their word for yes |
|
|
|
465 |
462 |
Chinese: A very primitive language |
|
|
|
466 |
463 |
I’m one of the first |
|
|
Note.
|
467 |
464 |
There is so much to be said |
|
|
|
468 |
465 |
The art of the playwright |
|
|
Note.
|
469 |
466 |
Beating and being |
|
|
|
470 |
467 |
German. The Germans are philosophers |
|
|
|
471 |
469 |
Anyway, the Germans |
|
|
Note.
|
472 |
470 |
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee |
|
|
|
473 |
471 |
V becomes closer |
|
|
|
474 |
472 |
Double V is WW |
|
|
|
475 |
473 |
VVVVVVV is close |
|
|
|
476 |
474 |
Vomiting. I see |
|
|
|
477 |
475 |
Mother. The masculine other |
|
|
|
478 |
476 |
Er would be a far |
|
|
|
479 |
477 |
Super. To sup and to er |
|
|
|
480 |
478 |
I’m getting tired again |
|
|
|
481 |
479 |
But I haven’t even begun |
|
|
Note.
|
482 |
480 |
Any rationalist reading |
|
|
|
483 |
481 |
For the first time I |
|
|
|
484 |
482 |
In the middle of the cliché |
|
|
|
485 |
483 |
But I just can’t get |
|
|
|
486 |
484 |
Let’s start with orgasm |
|
|
|
487 |
485 |
To attempt to go on |
|
|
|
488 |
486 |
To be continued tomorrow |
|
|
|
489 |
486a |
Before I go on with |
|
|
|
490 |
487 |
So, if my premise |
|
|
Note.
|
491 |
488 |
I keep trying to write |
|
|
|
492 |
489 |
Which is why I have |
|
|
|
493 |
490 |
Mom. A cunt O |
|
|
|
494 |
491 |
I’ve spent the last |
423 |
|
|
495 |
492 |
Following my Clue |
|
|
|
496 |
493 |
Back to bisexuals |
|
|
|
497 |
494 |
So, the bisexual in society |
|
|
|
498 |
495 |
I’m getting hipped |
|
|
|
499 |
496 |
The next “idea” |
|
|
|
500 |
497 |
What characterizes the power-mad |
|
|
|
501 |
498 |
I’ve just been out for lunch |
|
|
|
502 |
496 |
This has all been a preface |
499 |
|
|
503 |
497 |
At any rate, I still believe |
|
|
|
504 |
498 |
And, of course, the little |
|
^ |
|
505 |
499 |
What a jewel of a word |
|
|
|
506 |
500 |
But what remains |
|
|
Note.
|
507 |
501 |
The cop is getting stronger |
|
|
|
508 |
502 |
I’ve got to shake this off |
|
|
|
509 |
503 |
The family dinner |
|
|
|
510 |
504 |
I don’t have the patience |
|
|
|
511 |
505 |
Dynamo. Dine at mom’s |
|
|
|
512 |
506 |
While we’re on consonants |
|
|
|
513 |
507 |
Example: Formalize (Fuck of |
|
|
|
514 |
508 |
From time to time I worry |
|
|
|
515 |
509 |
Course of events |
|
|
|
516 |
510 |
I have postulated unisexuality |
|
|
Note.
|
517 |
511 |
We and Us |
|
|
|
518 |
512 |
World. It is a prettier |
|
|
|
519 |
513 |
But ‘rectal’ I’m sure |
|
|
|
520 |
514 |
RL again. Relish |
|
|
|
521 |
515 |
The difficulty in consonant |
|
|
|
522 |
516 |
An old cliché is called |
|
|
|
523 |
517 |
Regal—egal |
|
|
|
524 |
518 |
Acts of the body |
|
|
|
525 |
519 |
The is and the ing. |
|
|
|
526 |
520 |
When an intelligent person |
|
|
Note.
|
527 |
521 |
Adele gets furious these days |
|
|
|
528 |
522 |
Actually, there’s no contradiction |
|
|
Note.
|
529 |
523 |
But this opens the peculiar |
|
|
|
530 |
524 |
Excelsior! Hardons onward |
|
|
|
531 |
525 |
Excelsior: What I’m getting at |
|
|
|
532 |
526 |
Now, of course, an analyst |
|
|
|
533 |
527 |
Yet, we cannot deny it |
|
|
|
534 |
528 |
I’m very dissatisfied |
|
|
|
535 |
529 |
Time is Number |
|
|
|
536 |
530 |
Toynbee’s challenge |
|
|
|
537 |
531 |
We and wee |
|
|
|
538 |
532 |
The beggar-king |
|
|
|
539 |
533 |
The reason the common people |
|
|
|
540 |
534 |
And so the enigma |
|
|
|
541 |
535 |
And that is why certain |
|
|
|
542 |
536 |
A dick is a cock |
|
|
|
543 |
537 |
Twot. The thing of what? |
|
|
|
544 |
538 |
Man and society |
|
|
|
545 |
539 |
I just realized that the reason |
|
|
Note.
|
546 |
540 |
Anybody who’s really |
|
|
|
547 |
541 |
I have to explore |
|
|
|
548 |
542 |
Hemingway’s peculiar weakness |
|
|
|
549 |
543 |
Depressants and stimulants |
|
|
|
550 |
544 |
The above was hardly |
|
|
|
551 |
545 |
So, to begin with, |
|
|
|
552 |
546 |
I’m written out |
|
|
|
February 10, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
553 |
547 |
A new typewriter ribbon |
|
|
|
554 |
548 |
Today is L plus 1 |
|
|
|
555 |
549 |
But what I want to try |
|
|
|
556 |
550 |
This can help to explain |
|
|
|
557 |
551 |
For the analyst and the analysand |
|
|
|
558 |
552 |
I have come to a conclusion |
|
|
Note.
|
559 |
553 |
The fluoridation of water |
|
|
|
560 |
554 |
Investigating the consonants |
|
|
|
561 |
555 |
On the vowels |
|
|
|
562 |
556 |
I have an idea |
|
|
Note.
|
February 14, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
563 |
557 |
Again I start work |
|
|
|
564 |
558 |
The kick-off was |
|
|
Note.
|
565 |
559 |
I have not warmed up |
|
|
|
566 |
560 |
I’ve come up with something |
|
|
|
567 |
561 |
For days I’ve been working |
|
|
|
568 |
562 |
A lover of music |
|
|
|
569 |
563 |
But I am the person |
|
|
|
570 |
564 |
It can be stated |
|
|
|
571 |
565 |
Pain and pleasure |
|
|
|
572 |
566 |
“Stupid” people find |
|
|
Note.
|
573 |
565 |
Antacid Analgesic |
|
|
Note.
|
574 |
566 |
What a title |
|
|
Note.
|
575 |
567 |
Yes, I am a rationalist |
|
|
|
576 |
568 |
And isn’t that the Devil? |
|
|
|
577 |
569 |
My nose has stopped running |
|
|
|
578 |
570 |
A truly great man |
|
|
|
579 |
571 |
Ruthless and Truthful |
|
|
|
580 |
572 |
What I’ve been avoiding |
|
|
|
581 |
573 |
I got the D.T.’s |
|
|
|
582 |
574 |
Last night taking my Seconal |
|
|
|
583 |
575 |
What bothered me about |
|
|
Notes.
|
584 |
576 |
Kill or be killed |
|
|
|
585 |
577 |
Ted Amussen cannot express |
|
|
Notes.
|
586 |
578 |
The and He |
|
|
|
587 |
579 |
Antacid Analgesic is filled |
|
|
|
588 |
580 |
P, I believe, signifies |
|
|
|
589 |
581 |
Energy spent on solving |
|
|
|
590 |
582 |
The curve is life |
|
|
|
591 |
583 |
Classicist and Romantic |
|
|
|
592 |
584 |
Last night on the train |
|
|
|
593 |
585 |
My throat is sore again |
|
|
|
594 |
586 |
Patience and impatience |
|
|
|
595 |
587 |
The reason this journal |
|
|
|
596 |
588 |
To understand a neurotic |
|
|
|
597 |
589 |
(ENTERING_and_LEAVING) |
|
|
|
598 |
590 |
Impatience—patience |
|
|
|
599 |
591 |
I’m really beginning to dig |
|
|
|
600 |
592 |
The malfunction of entering-leaving |
|
|
|
601 |
592 |
The phallic-narcissist (Jim Jones) |
|
|
|
602 |
593 |
Back from lunch |
|
|
|
603 |
593 |
But another revelatory contradiction |
|
|
|
604 |
594 |
“Freedom is the recognition |
|
|
|
605 |
595 |
I don’t know if I agree |
604 |
|
|
606 |
596 |
Let me make as assumption |
|
|
|
607 |
597 |
Yet, this is still true |
|
|
|
608 |
598 |
Which is where an understanding |
|
|
Note.
|
609 |
599 |
I lost weight all last summer |
|
|
|
610 |
600 |
I wonder if once smoking |
|
|
|
611 |
601 |
The rationalist says |
|
|
|
612 |
602 |
What I suspect about Lipton’s |
|
|
|
613 |
603 |
My sore throat seems gone |
|
|
Note.
|
614 |
604 |
One healthy thing I am |
|
|
|
615 |
605 |
The part and the whole |
|
|
|
616 |
606 |
As I said to Bob |
|
|
|
617 |
607 |
Reason, the logic on One |
|
|
|
618 |
608 |
One thing to say |
|
|
|
619 |
609 |
A thousand things yet |
|
|
|
February 21, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
620 |
610 |
Avery (Men with the name |
|
|
|
621 |
611 |
Here we go again |
|
|
|
622 |
612 |
Out of curiosity |
|
|
|
623 |
613 |
I truly have the feeling |
|
|
|
624 |
614 |
The reason I believe |
|
|
|
625 |
615 |
Saw Mutiny on the Bounty |
|
|
Notes.
|
626 |
616 |
And Laughton |
|
|
|
627 |
617 |
Over and over I come |
|
|
|
628 |
618 |
Sup, x er, lerve, and the Juggler |
|
|
|
629 |
619 |
Back to Laughton |
|
|
Notes.
|
630 |
620 |
A few word echoes |
|
|
|
631 |
621 |
My sore throat |
|
|
|
632 |
622 |
I have an enormously tense |
|
|
|
633 |
623 |
Cigarette smoking |
|
|
|
634 |
624 |
The cigarette is society’s substitute |
|
|
|
635 |
624 |
A shit-eating grin |
|
|
|
636 |
625 |
Before I go to lunch |
|
|
|
637 |
626 |
Hatred is the defense |
|
|
|
638 |
627 |
Semen. How it appears everywhere |
|
|
|
639 |
628 |
Milk. Another semen-substitute |
|
|
|
640 |
629 |
Last night I caught a piece |
|
|
Note.
|
641 |
630 |
Tears and semen |
|
|
Note.
|
642 |
631 |
I realized during lunch |
|
|
|
643 |
632 |
Psychoanalyzing names |
|
|
|
644 |
633 |
Homosexuality |
|
|
Note.
|
645 |
634 |
The Burglar [Edmund Bergler] |
|
|
|
646 |
635 |
The phallic narcissist |
|
|
|
647 |
636 |
All day I have been holding |
|
|
|
648 |
635 |
There, Now, I like him again |
|
|
|
649 |
636 |
What’s in a name |
|
|
|
650 |
637 |
Three and tree |
|
|
|
651 |
638 |
Out of sight, out of mind |
|
|
|
652 |
639 |
I have a feeling that |
|
|
|
653 |
635 |
What occurs to me |
|
|
|
654 |
636 |
Over the weekend I took |
|
|
Note.
|
655 |
637 |
An article in Scientific American |
|
|
|
656 |
638 |
Word echoes and tag lines |
|
|
|
February 22, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
657 |
639 |
Today, I’m completely down |
|
Part |
|
658 |
640 |
I feel fairly barren of ideas |
|
|
|
659 |
641 |
First comes “back and front” |
|
|
|
660 |
642 |
A corollary. Refrigerators |
|
|
|
661 |
643 |
I have postulated consciousness |
|
|
|
662 |
644 |
There is only one revolution |
|
|
|
663 |
645 |
The revolutionary and the mystic |
|
|
|
664 |
646 |
Time. Our idea of it |
|
|
|
665 |
647 |
Thus, the future exists |
|
|
|
666 |
648 |
The value of commodities |
|
|
|
667 |
649 |
Has anyone remarked |
|
|
|
668 |
650 |
Actor’s say of an emotional |
|
|
|
669 |
651 |
Steve Allen obeys Joyce’s |
|
|
|
670 |
652 |
Social forms: We say |
|
|
|
671 |
653 |
Obscenity |
|
|
|
672 |
654 |
The double meaning of consonants |
|
|
|
673 |
655 |
They. Th ay Instantaneity |
|
|
|
674 |
656 |
When I take Lipton’s |
|
|
|
675 |
657 |
Psyche. Sigh—Key |
|
|
|
676 |
658 |
All business partnerships |
|
|
|
677 |
659 |
Shakespeare is the decadent genius |
|
|
|
678 |
660 |
The relation of h to f |
|
|
|
679 |
661 |
Chess. The dramatization |
|
|
|
680 |
662 |
The aviator is a hipster too |
|
|
|
681 |
663 |
Adele, as only I have seen her |
|
|
Note.
|
682 |
664 |
The salesman has to sell |
|
|
|
683 |
665 |
The foot-note leads |
|
|
|
684 |
666 |
I glimpse a form |
|
|
|
685 |
667 |
I suspect that the form |
|
|
|
686 |
668 |
Psyche Soma |
|
|
|
687 |
669 |
I can hardly complain |
|
|
|
688 |
670 |
I suspect that the frequency |
|
|
|
689 |
671 |
I still haven’t expressed |
|
|
|
690 |
672 |
The hush |
|
|
|
691 |
672 |
Laughter. We laugh when we |
|
|
|
692 |
673 |
The root oom |
|
|
|
693 |
674 |
V contain the opposed |
|
|
|
694 |
675 |
More on laughter |
|
|
|
695 |
676 |
Exhiliaration and depression in writing |
|
|
|
696 |
677 |
Those periods in history |
|
|
|
697 |
678 |
In the course of this journal |
|
|
|
698 |
679 |
Ideas and thought |
|
|
|
699 |
680 |
People who are in |
|
|
|
700 |
681 |
Reversals. From Legman |
|
|
|
March 4, 1955
# |
NM# |
First Words |
x-Refs |
Cut |
Notes
|
701 |
682 |
This is going to be tough |
|
|
|
702 |
683 |
Laughton came to town |
|
|
Note.
|
703 |
684 |
This typewriter is giving me |
|
|
|
704 |
685 |
shit shit shit shit shit shit |
|
|
|
705 |
686 |
I do want to say |
|
|
|
706 |
687 |
In the interim |
|
|
|
707 |
688 |
Also I have been going |
|
|
Note.
|
708 |
689 |
Tonight people are coming |
|
|
|
Questions
- What do we want to do with omitted entry numbers? Just skip them? Or should they be included in the digital version but not the printed?
- Are the numbers on Donna’s transcript the new, correct numbers? (I know Mike said that Mailer mis-numbered some entries.)
- Should each entry date have its own index page? Perhaps each numbered entry could be summarized here?
- Should each numbered entry should have its own (sub)page? I think yes.
- Should each numbered entry have a title other than a number? Each could have a shortcut, so if the title is
Lipton’s Journal/December 1, 1954/1
, the shortcut could be LJ1
or just L1
.
- Should we categorize numbered entries? Thematically? Style of entry?