Lipton’s Journal/January 24, 1955/217: Difference between revisions

To begin with, one of the great divisions of personality occurred to me last night, and that is, one can divide people generally into takers and givers. Naturally there is an infinity of variations in the duality, and the giver always has his counterpart within himself of the taker, but it is best described by mentioning people. I am essentially a giver and not a taker which is why so many people see me as a bully. Adele{{LJ:Adele}} is on the surface a taker rather than a giver—except in sex—but that is truly a defense against her great desires to give which would flood her away. Danny{{LJ:Wolf}} is a taker not a giver, so is Malaquais.{{LJ:Malaquais}} Devlin{{LJ:Devlin}} a giver. My mother is a giver—like me she cannot take, neither advice, nor presents, nor even in a funny way, love—she must give, give, give. Bob{{LJ:Lindner}} is one of those rare people who is both a giver and a taker—primarily a giver, but he can also take which accounts for his healthiness. Larry [Alson] and Barbara [Alson] are takers, my father is a taker.{{refn|{{NM}}’s sister, Barbara Mailer Wasserman (b. 1927) was married to Alson (1920-2016), a writer and editor, from 1950-1962.}}  

All performing artists are almost pure givers. People with a relaxed tweedy wit are takers. Givers tend to be sloppy or loud in their dress (the sloppy dresser and the loud dresser are the same thing)—takers are invariably neat. Givers express the masculine creative-destroying principle, taker’s the feminine conserving-principle. The irony is that givers open other people to their souls but takers are essentially closer to their souls. (Dave Kessler is a giver, Anne Kessler is a taker.){{refn| David Kessler (1889-1960), a candy manufacturer, was married to NM’s father’s sister, Anne (1889-1958). The Kesslers were fond of NM and helped with his college expenses. ''[[Advertisements for Myself]]'' is dedicated to them.}} Susy{{LJ:Susan}} worries me because while she is both a giver and a taker both are generally suppressed, and people who suppress both are in for a rocky toad. Givers and takers always reveal themselves over things like picking up a check. Whenever I am threatened or have suffered some disaster I pick up every check in sight.