The Mailer Review/Volume 3, 2009/It’ll Pass, It Always Does
| « | The Mailer Review • Volume 3 Number 1 • 2009 • Beyond Fiction | » |
SETTING:
A Laundromat. Present day.
CHARACTERS:
HENRY - Mid-twenties.
JOANNE - Mid-twenties. They have been living together for four years.
ROGER - Mid-twenties. A smooth player.
MAXIM - Mid-twenties. An unlikely friend of Roger’s.
JESSICA - Six years old.
The BABYSITTER - Twenty. Currently attending community college.
(Lights up on Henry and Joanne. They fold their clothes and put them in a basket.)
HENRY
It’ll pass, it always does.
JOANNE
Do you really think saying that makes it better?
HENRY
You’ve just gotten into one of your moods. This has nothing to do with me. I’m not going to fight with you.
JOANNE
Just because you’re not the reason I was originally mad, doesn’t mean I’m not pissed at you now. I mean my God, you have no empathy for me.
HENRY
How can I have empathy for you when you don’t make any sense? I don’t see how you go from one thing to the next.
JOANNE
That’s the problem, you don’t understand women’s logic.
HENRY
What kind of logic justifies you shifting your anger onto me?
JOANNE
Sometimes I think you really do hate women.
HENRY
Who the hell are you to tell me I hate women? Do you have any concept as to how large a statement that is? Jesus Christ, woman. I happen to love the female sex, and everything that goes along with it. Is this your monthly thing?
JOANNE
You know what? I’m done talking to you.
HENRY
Oh, that’s very mature, Joanne. Give me the silent treatment. It seems unreasonable that we’re not able to discuss things as adults. Doesn’t it seem that way to you? Am I really out of line on this? I don’t even know what we’re fighting about . . .
JOANNE
That’s the problem, Henry. You don’t listen.
HENRY
I’ve been listening to every word you’ve said. I swear. I still don’t know what we’re fighting about.
JOANNE
You need to listen to what I mean, not what I say.
HENRY
But wouldn’t it be easier if you just said what you meant?
JOANNE
Of course it would be easier, Henry. What does that matter?
HENRY
If you did, maybe we could . . .
(Maxim and Roger enter and go over to the washing machines where they begin to transport their laundry from the washers to the dryers.)
JOANNE
So now I’m supposed to make everything easy for you? Is that it? You’d like that, wouldn’t you? You’d love for me to do everything for you, just like your mother did.
HENRY
Woah there. I really don’t think you need to bring my mother into this.
JOANNE
And don’t think I’m angry because of my “monthly thing” as you call it.
HENRY
Well, that doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. Here you are, in a public place, aimlessly angry with me. What conclusion should I draw?
JOANNE
How about your performance in bed last night, Henry? Did you ever think maybe that has something to do with it?
HENRY
(In a hushed voice) I told you I was sorry.
JOANNE
Oh, you’re sorry all right.
HENRY
What is wrong with you?
JOANNE
There has to be something wrong with me. Figures. You’d never assume the problem is with you. “It can’t be anything wrong with me, oh no, it must be her.” That is so typical.
HENRY
Well, you sure as Hell don’t give me much inspiration . . .
JOANNE
And I’m sorry to tell you this, but your penis is very small.
HENRY
(Looking to see if the two guys have noticed. They have, but at this point they have already looked away.) I thought you said size doesn’t matter.
JOANNE
I said size doesn’t matter if you have technique. You have no TECHNIQUE!
HENRY
I really don’t think this is the time or place to do this.
. . .
