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The Mailer Review/Volume 13, 2019/Prism Break: Difference between revisions
The Mailer Review/Volume 13, 2019/Prism Break (view source)
Revision as of 10:12, 17 February 2021
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the way, is also all about me. | the way, is also all about me. | ||
===Part 1. “Third Person Father”=== | |||
It has been said that in families of two or more children, each child experiences | It has been said that in families of two or more children, each child experiences | ||
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in the least, and spoiled. At a certain point, her presence became so insistent | in the least, and spoiled. At a certain point, her presence became so insistent | ||
that she began to invade my personality. I started throwing tantrums, refusing | that she began to invade my personality. I started throwing tantrums, refusing | ||
to take care of business, and so | to take care of business, and so on—and this was just last week. Nothing | ||
could stand up to this girl. So I finally caved, and—Here I am— | could stand up to this girl. So I finally caved, and—Here I am— | ||
acknowledging her. | acknowledging her. | ||
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For a long time, I did not want to come to the Mailer conferences. The | For a long time, I did not want to come to the Mailer conferences. The | ||
ballast I was always seeking in our relationship could be further displaced by | ballast I was always seeking in our relationship could be further displaced by | ||
any version of Norman I might establish | any version of Norman I might establish hearing—or especially speaking— | ||
about him. In the effort to connect with an audience who knew externally | about him. In the effort to connect with an audience who knew externally | ||
more about him than I did, I could lose track of my dad completely. | more about him than I did, I could lose track of my dad completely. | ||
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reflected in the crazy prism of our family. | reflected in the crazy prism of our family. | ||
===Part 2: The Prism, or, the Dream Life of My Siblings=== | |||
I would like to show you some diagrams featuring the nine children, six | I would like to show you some diagrams featuring the nine children, six | ||
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husband can attest, that our house today does perhaps bear a resemblance | husband can attest, that our house today does perhaps bear a resemblance | ||
at times to events described here. | at times to events described here. | ||
[[File:Mr13-mai-12.jpg|thumb|'''Figure 12''': Young Maggie’s Note from Dad]] | |||
At fifteen, I was still too shy to speak easily with my father. Days might | At fifteen, I was still too shy to speak easily with my father. Days might | ||
pass without conversing, but we would always exchange meaningful looks. | pass without conversing, but we would always exchange meaningful looks. | ||
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a note from Dad, placed at the entrance, so as not to disturb me. “He must | a note from Dad, placed at the entrance, so as not to disturb me. “He must | ||
be really impressed to put it in writing” I thought, and eagerly read his assessment | be really impressed to put it in writing” I thought, and eagerly read his assessment | ||
of my work. (See Figure 12) | of my work. (See '''Figure 12''') | ||
When I read this note at the Carnegie Hall tribute, I wasn’t sure about | When I read this note at the Carnegie Hall tribute, I wasn’t sure about | ||
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Dad had a great generosity whereby, if he felt that you were serious or excited | Dad had a great generosity whereby, if he felt that you were serious or excited | ||
about something, he would forget his anger, and give you his full | about something, he would forget his anger, and give you his full attention. He found me a little later and said, “Listen, I didn’t realize you were up to something in there. I took another look, and I’m pleased. I think you | ||
up to something in there. I took another look, and I’m pleased. I think you | |||
may be an artist. Finish the sculpture, I’d like to live with it a while. Maybe | may be an artist. Finish the sculpture, I’d like to live with it a while. Maybe | ||
we’ll put it in the Living Room.” | we’ll put it in the Living Room.” | ||
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I miss you. | I miss you. | ||
{{Review}} | {{Review}} | ||
{{DEFAULTSORT:Prism Break }} | {{DEFAULTSORT:Prism Break }} | ||
[[Category:Articles (MR)]] | |||